I recently had the are opportunity of conversing with a space man from the future. This hip hop loving spaceling had some interesting stories of where he is from and about music in the future. It was like nothing I have heard. I was so excited about this encounter that I had to document it and share it. Here is what he had to say.
So, where is home sweet home?
The idea of “home” is a notion I don’t cotton to. I was begat when a
Red Giant successfully put the moves on a Supernova. The Red Giant was
like, “Damn, Nova, you ‘bout to make this giant explode, for real.” 9
milliion years later I was “born”. They’re divorced now which makes
going home for the holidays a real pain in the ass.
Everyone has a couple favorite things about their hometown. What are yours?
My true hometown is a little section of the galaxy called SoGal, but I
doubt you want to hear much about that. It was a rough place to grow
up. If you went down the wrong block at the wrong time you could end
up being jumped, having your Air Jordans ripped right off your feet,
given an atomic wedgie, and thrown into a black hole only to go
missing for a few thousand years before you could find your way back.
I spent my first few millenia there and I couldn’t wait until I saved
up enough space dollars so I could strike out on my own. My current
hometown, the Bay Area, like I said before, provides an air quality
that is great for my psoriasis. There’s also this little coffee joint
around the corner that puts cucumber slices in their ice water. I’d
never seen that before and let me tell you, it’s divine.
Where is the best grub in town?
Who told you about Grub? Grub is ten times more addictive than crystal
meth and I’ve seen it completely destroy communities. If you suffer
from a dependence to grub, I urge you to immediately stop reading this
interview and seek help. You’re not alone.
What is the scene like in your hood?
It’s tranquil. Like a Bob Ross painting.
How did you get involved with music?
Music and I have been tight for quite some time. I met music way back
when I was just a little spaceling. Let me tell you this, son, please
don’t take the word “involved” to mean anything more than it does. The
relationship is purely platonic. We’re just friends. Pysch. More like
friends with benefits. Boo yah!
When did you start producing?
That’s sort of a trick question because I think it is well known that
I often travel through time. Sometimes accidentally, but mostly on my
own accord. I started producing music about a thousand earth years ago
in the Amazon basin, but to me it was roughly 3 weeks ago. The
acoustics there are off the hook.
I started producing red, flaky, scaly skin around my hairline about 25
years ago. It’s psoriasis and the doctors tell me that it’s autoimmune
but I suspect it has a lot to do with the introduction of High
Fructose Corn Syrup into the American diet. I’ve since cut out HFCS
and my skin is much better though not cured.
You make AWESOME productions with great variation and style. What do you use for your production?
When I produce, I enter a trance like state and know not what my body
does. I look around my mansion sometimes at all my equipment and
software and say, “who the hell is using this stuff?” My servant,
Ricardo, he’s a portly, oily being from a planet a few galaxies over,
who can only be perceived by myself and most people with alopecia,
anwers, “it’s yours, Ambassador.” Then I respond, “well I’ll be. Now,
Ricardo, stop farting around and get back to giving my ferns
Having creative ideas isn’t an easy thing, especially getting them out
of your head and actually creating it, Where would you say you get
most of your inspiration?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, I get the
majority of inspiration from these guys. They are geniuses and the
world needs to know. Also, more recently I’ve gotten my inspiration
from my personalized Netflix categories. Who knew I was a fan of 80’s
Raunchy Comedies with a Strong Female Lead? Apparently, Netflix knew
and I think you’ll start to see that influence in my latest music.
Besides music, what are other hobbies do you enjoy doing?
Strengthening my quads is the key to happiness and I work on this
every day. Strong quads = strong mind. That’s a fact. I’m considering
creating what would amount to a 10 part DVD collection of my most
essential quad exercises, but my agent doesn’t think the world is
ready for it yet. I also enjoy working on my blog about celebrities
with superfluous nipples. It’s called thirdnipslip.com. It’s still in
You have awesome style, where does it come from?
I believe it was Minka Kelly who, in my favorite film The Roommate,
was quoting Yves St. Laurent when she said, “Fashion’s fade, style is
eternal.” I’m not exactly sure if this is an appropriate response to
your question, but I’ve been rockin the same suit for milenia and it
still pulls madd tail.
Where has been your favorite place you have preformed at?
Excellent question. Too bad I don’t want to answer it.
You’re newest album is mind blowing. What does the future hold for
The Polish Ambassador?
Oh, so now you’re delving into “gotcha journalism”. I see how it is.
Trying to set me up to look stupid in front of your drooling
constituency. OK. Fine. I’ll tell you what the future holds for The
Polish Ambassador. I plan on hitting the road hard this Fall to bring
my most dancetastic, booty shaking, genital grinding music to more
fans and new friends. I’ll be releasing even more remixes and a couple
new albums. Damn, are you satisfied!?!?
When are you going to grace us with your Futuristic Sounds in the
Mountains of Salt Lake City?
Hopefully not too long from now. I hear the Salt Lake is great for
people with skin issues like me.
Also make sure to buy his latest album Future Sex Computers.